If you want your partner to act in a certain way to make you happy... Forget it, you do not love this person.
You just didn't make peace with yourself and you want to resolve it by subordinating others to you will. You want your partner (another whole separate microcosm!) to suppress his needs and wishes in order he could support your limitations. You just want to make someone else guilty for your failures and to re-lay the responsibility for your own life.
Unresolved issues with yourself will lead you again and again to the toxic relationships.